Written by Mister Meaner
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Monday, 5 October 2009

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Lights, camera and ACTION you filthy pig!

Good news for devotees of noted locked-up film director Roman Polanski as his latest movie is set for a December release. It's a comedy based around a rape, and is somewhat autobiographical in concept.

Polanski remains in protective police custody in Switzerland over some trivial matter or other, but, due to his great film-making reputation and international fame, he is expected to walk soon without too much distress to himself.

The movie in question follows the fortunes of a movie-maker who agrees to do a photo shoot for a 13-year-old girl, and then takes advantage of her by pumping her full of champagne and drugs, and then ramming her in any orifice he could get his dick into.

Polanski, himself, had a very similar experience when, in 1977, he carried out an almost-same kind of photo shoot for Samantha Geimer, then 13, and rammed her in any orifice he could get his dick into.

He was convicted in a US court, but fled the country before he could be jailed, and has evaded capture from that day to this - well, until 26 September that is, when he was apprehended in Zurich.

The film, tentatively called A Midsummer Night's Rape Sex Comedy, accurately reflects the very casual way the director thinks about the subject of rape, particularly involving minors. He deals with a sodomy scene in a very light-hearted and tasteful way, telling his young victim after her vagina has been damaged, "Oooh, I enjoyed that!"

The film will star Polanski himself, and a token 13-year-old, possibly even a younger girl, and is set for a December release so that the DVD can become the ultimate stocking-filler for all those filthy paedos.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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