Written by Jaggedone
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Sunday, 4 October 2009

image for Famous ancient Rockers are giving prisoners in "UK Slammers" guitar lessons!
Criminals holding hands listening to Billy Bragg on the guitar playing the Beatles classic "Love me do"!!

Ancient rock legends from the Clash, Billy Bragg, Status Quo, etc, want to give prisoners locked up in "UK Slammers" guitar lessons instead of them practising "gay sex lessons!"

Leading prison psychiatrists feel this would ease tensions between prisoners especially whilst showering and instead of accidentally dropping their soap, slipping a quicky from behind they could concentrate on their notes, riffs and hum some guitar tunes!

Lifers banged up with their "prison bitches" could play lullabies and good night melodies before tucking them in (or up!).

Those prisoners, especially rapists, before release could learn some guitar classics, which would make them think twice before raping their next victims i.e.

Pink Floyds classic "Wish you were here in the slammer with me" or The Eagles legendary "Hotel California otherwise known as San Quentin home of the Johnny Cash fan club and a Boy named Sue"!!

Serial Killers and Cannibals would also benefit from learning the guitar especially Hannibal Lector and Charles Manson!

Hannibal would certainly learn that Micheal Jackson classic "Eat it" and Manson's priority would be that Black Sabbath classic "I'm PARANOID because I slaughtered Sharon Tate like a Pig"

Thanks Billy, The Clash and Co for this great idea you will certainly be doing the general public a great favour and in honour of this super idea The Clash are re-releasing their mega-hit "BANKROBBER"!!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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