New York, NY-- David Letterman confirmed last night that his 98-year old mother was involved in the sex-scandal that is destroying the unfunny comedian. Mr. Letterman would only say that both he and his mother are adults and "there's anything wrong with it."
The shocking and revolting news didn't seem to bother anyone in Hollywood.
"It's not sex-sex if you do it with your mother." opined Whoopi Goldberg on 'The View'. "If you do it with your mom, it's just like doing it with yourself, except your mother is with you." she continued with her liberal logic.
David Letterman said sex with his mom "calmed me down a lot before doing the show. It's was Mom's idea anyway. I always gave her champagne mixed with Quaaludes, so she was out of it. No one got hurt, and it's nobody's business." said the outrageous Obamaton.
Mr. Letterman said he'd like to go on tour with Roman Polanski, Woody Allen and Mackensie Phillips to showcase their "diverse lifestyles" to the American public.
"People have to stop clinging to their old Republican ways." boasted the gap-toothed freak. "After all, a boy's best friend is his mother."