Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 27 September 2009

image for Ryan Giggs - Class Act - Crap Actor
Speak Up Giggsy! They Can't Hear You At The Back!

He's ageless and timeless and one of the greatest footballers to grace the beautiful game with his presence.

At the ripe old age of 35, 'Giggsy' as he is known to football afficionados has firmly cemented his name in the football hall of fame.

From precocious teenager, through to mature acolyte, the man who made Patrick Vieira look ridiculous one night at Villa Park, as he skinned the best defence on the planet and smashed a vicious left footed shot past one of the greatest goalkeepers ever seen, Ryan Giggs has seen and done it all in the world of football.

At one point, rumour had it that Giggsy was going to buy the MEN Arena in order to store all his medals and football memorabilia in a venue large enough to hold it all.

But when it came to acting, apparently, the Welsh wing wizard was a bit shit.

Giggsy's ex drama teacher, Hugo Flatley, of St Domingo's School in Salford told us:

"The lad could play football right enough, but he was a really shit actor. I once cast him as Oliver Twist in 'Oliver!' the musical by Lionel Bart. He just mumbled his way through it all. He couldn't project. Zero charisma. His timing and delivery were all way off. I'm glad young Ryan made it as a footballer, because if he'd concentrated on his acting, he wouldn't have exactly had Dustin Hoffman shitting himself. He can deliver a bloody football though, the lad can. We're kind of proud of him in these parts."

We'll get back to you when Giggsy has a bad game.

Holding your breath is not recommended.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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