Written by Aspartame Boy
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Saturday, 26 September 2009

image for Michael Jackson cause of death determined
Aspartame preserves his body

WASHINGTON DC - In a special study at Methesdum Medical Hospital, flesh from Michael Jackson's buttocks were analyzed and found to contain lethal levels of formaldehyde. This is a known break-down product of aspartame, an ingredient in all of Michael's favorite drugs and foods.

Recently released video of Michael never seen before also explains now his nose got to be so bad looking. Snorting aspartame did it as it destroys the tissue it comes in contact with.

During the autopsy the doctors played Weird Al's version of one of Michael's tunes, "Just Eat it". Everyone wishes that he had just eaten it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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