Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Saturday, 26 September 2009

image for Kermit The Frog Vanishes While Doing Glenn Beck Piece for "Bill Moyers Journal"
Kermit The Frog Reported Missing by Miss Piggy

New York, New York - An emotional Miss Piggy walked into a New York Police Station today claiming she has not heard or seen from her life long companion, Kermit The Frog, since he was assigned to do an investigative reporting piece on Glenn Beck by the "Bill Moyers Journal" on PBS a few days ago.

According to a missing persons report filed by Miss Piggy with the NYPD, the last time she had contact with him was when they said goodbye in the predawn hours a couple of days ago.

"He said he was on his way to interview Glenn Beck," said Miss Piggy in impromptu press conference she held on the steps outside the police station with reporters. "I haven't seen him since and Glenn Beck hasn't returned any of my phone calls."

Miss Piggy listed Kermit as wearing a hat, tie and a tan London Fog trench coat when she last saw him.

"Oh," added Miss Piggy as she held out her hand in front of her examining her nails. "And he was carrying that microphone of his with him."

Kermit the Frog recently returned to reporting, working as an investigative journalist for the critically acclaimed "Bill Moyer Journal" when it is believed by Miss Piggy that he meet up with fowl play.

"He said he had to meet up with Gonzo that had some chickens that had dug up the dirt on Beck," said Miss Piggy as she powdered her nose.

Miss Piggy then said Kermit had been instructed to arrive at the studio where the Glenn Beck show is taped, only in advance of the producers or crew arriving, at Glenn Beck's personal request.

"I don't know what happened to Kermit, but I do know Glenn Beck had something to do with it," said a now suddenly distraught and weeping Miss Piggy. "Oh no. I'm I crying again? And I just fixed up my face a minute a go. Excuse me for a moment."

Miss Piggy then turned her back to the reporters while she reapplied makeup to her face. Unable to find her mirror, she asked if she could use the lens of a TV camera to put on her lipstick.

"Oh, thank you so much dear," said Miss Piggy as she then continued with the press conference. "Now where was I? Oh yeah, I was crying."

Miss Piggy began crying again on cue for the cameras. Then looking directly into a TV camera, Miss Piggy suddenly stopped crying.

"Now, how's that for acting Beck baby!" said Miss Piggy as she cast her head to the side revealing her perfect profile, tossing her nose up in the air. "You have less than 24-hours to tell where Kermit is being held. Or I will unleash a tsunami of tears on the media the likes of which no body has ever seen, drowning your career in the process."

With that Miss Piggy concluded the press conference by signing autograph pictures of herself with Kermit in happier days.

"Oh how I wish Kermit was here," said Miss Piggy touching up her hair in between signings. But then whispered under her breath in a low voice. "Listen up Bill Moyers. You better get personally involve in this and help me find Kermit, or I'm coming after you next. Oh look, there's my taxi. Bye now. Bye-bye."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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