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Thursday, 24 September 2009

image for John Phillips Ex Wives Say that He Really Wanted Valerie Bertinelli, Not Daughter Mackenzie
"John was never into the boney, flat chested, drugged out zombie-like girls like McKenzie."

Two ex wifes of the late John Phillips said that the Mamas and the Papas singer never wanted to sleep with his daughter Mackenzie. Instead, Papa John really wanted to be with her cute, pixie like One Day at a Time co-star Balerie Bertinelli.

Mama Michelle Phillips stated that "John was never into the boney, flat chested, drugged out zombie-like girls like McKenzie. He always liked his women cute and perky and hot...like me and Valerie. If my late ex-husband did sleep with his daughter in an incestuous relationship, it was probably because he thought he was sneaking into Valerie's trailer or something."

"Either that, or Valerie wasn't interested and told him to fuck a scarecrow."

"If John did carry on this affair for ten years, it may have only been because he was trying to burn images out of his mind of once accidentally seeing Mama Cass naked."

Official biographers have confirmed that John Phillips, strangely enough, is not from Arkansas or West Virginia.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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