Written by Peter Henn
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Topics: Music, Twilight

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Glam-Prog-Space-Rockers Muse have explained why they are allowing a song of theirs to go on the soundtrack of the new Twighlight movie.

The Devon trio will be rejigging "I Belong To You" to appear in the latest Stephanie Meyer adaptation "OMG!!!!1111oneoneone These Vampires Sparkle And Only My Chemical Romance Understand Me".
Drummer Dom Howard said the band had 'no choice' but to put it on there.

He added: "We were just hanging out, planning the latest stuff for our tour - not to give anything away, but if you like helicopters, interpretive dance and fire, you're in for a good night - when Matt [Bellamy, singer and guitarist] started spazzing out, saying the CIA were after his brain and were trying to control it through the science of something to do with outer space.

"He said the only way he could stop them was doing something really silly with the song, because it's normally pretty sensible, what with the 'She attacks me like a Leo/When my heart is split like Rio' line, the bit in French and the Clarinet solo."

Mr Howard's bandmate, bassist Chris Wolstenholme, explained that the destruction of credibility was the only way to help Mr Bellamy's 'over-worked' brain.

The Cider-swilling Chunkmeister added: "Matt said the cabal of gay Jewish freemasons under the command of the Pope wouldn't think it worth bothering with him if he was associated with something really fucking shit.
"Personally, as long as I get some pasties out of it, I reckon it's a good idea."

Matt Bellamy was unavailable for comment, as he had gone for a lie down and was being visited by that nice doctor who gives him those sweeties that stop the New World Order reading his every thought.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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