Written by nellabella
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

image for Susan Boyle: the new Snow White

Has anyone noticed how white Susan Boyle is? Susan Boyle - a white virginal old maid - became an instant star when her rendition of 'I Dreamed a Dream' on Britain's Got Talent was posted on the internet's popular youtube. Most of the youtube hits came from the United States.

Susan is from Scotland but due to her lack of education - no one understands what language she speaks which is very obvious in her singing as well. You'll understand why later in this article.

When I first saw and heard Susan on youtube - I thought she had a nice voice but nothing outstanding. I noticed she looked and dressed like she was born and raised in the hills of the Appalachian Mountains aka hillbilly. Hillbillies are white like Susan. Susan looks like she has all her teeth even if some are bad. Not many hillbillies have teeth.

What I noticed most about Susan is how white she is. She is so white - she has rosy cheeks and a red nose. The brown moles on her neck stand out - she's so white. Even her cat Pebbles is white.

Susan flew to the United States for the first time to sing her newest rendition of 'Wild Horses' on American's Got Talent. While I watched her sing - I counted the number of moles on her neck. I'm glad she only sang two verses because any more - I would have fallen asleep. I mean the woman doesn't move except for her mouth. I think she raised her arms once but I might have been too busy counting her moles. I remember Mick Jagger singing 'Wild Horses' and he's white but he didn't sing it as white as Susan. People thought she was singing 'White Houses' but that song is about how an unmarried girl felt when she gave away her virginity. Susan said she sings songs that remind her of her mother. 'Wild Horses' is about a drug addict. Can we say WTF?

Why so many Americans going crazy for this overly white white woman?

When Susan visited Disneyland in California - a dream of hers - Disney signed Susan on to play Snow White in their newest Disney movie - 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'. The seven dwarfs will be played by Simon Cowell - Niall O'Dowd from Irish Central - American actors Robin Williams and Demi Moore - Piers Morgan - Paris Hilton and Perez Hilton. It's going to be an all white cast because Snow White is after all white like Susan. Perez Hilton isn't gay about not getting the Snow White part but he's happy to be playing with best pal Paris.

'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs' is expected to be released Christmas day. White America are all praying for a white Christmas.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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