Written by Phil Edgar's Bones
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Saturday, 19 September 2009

image for John Leslie accused of rap - by Kanye West
West mistook Leslie's milk bottle for rap award !

Professional disgraced 'bad boy' John Leslie who serves as a warning to all young cassanovas - 'what you do at twenty catches up with you at forty' has been accused of rap by motor mouth rapper Kanye West.

Leslie 51 and now seedy looking (as they do when they become disgraced) was waylaid by the chart-topping fool outside his house. As bemused members of the press looked on Kanye was heard to shout he is not the world's biggest rapper - that title goes to my man 'Tupac' are all you white folks crazy?"

Kanye then wrestled Leslie to the ground snatching a bottle of milk out of his hand which he mistook for some sort of award. Kanye was subdued by his bemused minders and the gold-top handed back to Leslie so he could pour into over his crunchy kinky cornflakes' said a passing and articulate bystander with a knack for alliteration.

Kanye was heard to be muttering "How can they say he is the biggest rapper in the world - I've seen a clip of him rapping on Blue Peter and he no Roland Rat that's for sure...shoot he ain't even John Barnes - how come he's the biggest rapper in the world."

It was later revealed not only is Kanye West a buffoon- he is also mildly deaf in both ears and a bit slow in the brain.

Since his career ended in the media Mr Leslie has become famous for being accused of things by celebrity folk and other people that don't really matter.

Kanye West later apologised to Mr Leslie for being a simpleton who often gets confused. Mr Leslie's milkman - Ernie from Fatty Arbuckle Dairies said "I don't really like rap music apart from the stuff by Sammy Davis Jr he was black you know?" It was later confirmed that Ernie's marbles rolled away during a 'live' Sonia concert in 1991.

Mr Leslie the former celebrity is Scottish.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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