Written by Bureau
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Topics: Cher

Friday, 18 September 2009

image for Cher's Ass Returned By Honest Cab Driver

A New York City cab driver, James Ignakowski has discovered and returned actress and singer, Cher's ass Wednesday morning, after she left it in his cab on Tuesday night.

Ignakowski, or Iggy as he's called around the station, told reporters that he was straightening out the cab before he went off shift and spotted the ass sitting there all by itself.

"Right away I thought, wow, what's going to happen to that person with the long blonde hair as I recalled that she was my last customer. I mean, if there was another one after that, you'd think they would have yelled, 'We can't sit back here, someone's left their ass!' or something like that."

Iggy then stated that he tried to go on home to his apartment and get some sleep but he couldn't get the ass off his mind.

"So I got up and went back down to the station and went through the 'Lost & Found' he later told reporters. "And it was still there. Actually there was another one with it but I remember that this one looked like that woman. I'm pretty sure the other one was male."

"That's when I went to search for the lady because I thought, 'What if she has to go to the bathroom and she's got no ass?' and I went back to where I let her out."

Apparently after a lot of loud knocking at a hotel door on the sixteenth floor, it was opened by what appeared to be the same lady but with different hair.

"I'm uh sorry, Miss, but did you leave this ass in my cab last night or rather, early this morning?"

"Oh you found it", she said, "and this is my very favorite."

"It turned out to be that Sonny singer Cher! She gave me a big tip but I needed not have worried about her bathroom needs as she showed me at least a dozen more of them."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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