Written by Wire Piddle
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Tuesday, 15 September 2009

image for Jessica Simpson's Pussy Snatched By Phoenix Coyotes

Phoenix, AZ - Jessica Simpson's pussy has been snatched by a member of the Phoenix Coyote hockey team, and they want to make it their mascot.

An unknown member from the Phoenix Coyote hockey club went unannounced to Jessica Simpson's hotel room late Sunday evening and, on the spur of the moment, and after much carressing, decided to snatch her pussy. Jessica Simpson's pussy is rumored to be on the heavy side, weighing in at about 120 pounds. It is covered in thick black hair and answers to the name 'Bubbly' although some have been known to call it 'Rex'.

Once the pussy was retrieved, the Phoenix Coyote hockey team decided that they would like to keep it as a mascot as they are not allowed by law to harbor an actual coyote within the confines of their arena, however pussies are free to come and go at their leisure. Said an unnamed spokesman for the team, "We know that we came upon this pussy illegally but, after much deliberation, we intend to offer Jessica Simpson a cash settlement as well as royalties for the use of the pussy between periods. In fact we intend to give it a real workout between periods."

It is believed that Jessica Simpson's pussy is a longhaired tabby.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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