Written by Bureau
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Topics: Britney Spears

Saturday, 12 September 2009

image for Britney Spears Ran Off The Stage
Britney, Latest Victim Of Godzilla

With her Circus and Vampire Tour going great, no one in the crowd expected that the star of the show would be ran off the stage by a fire-breathing Japanese man in the audience, who would chase her off the stage, but with Britney it was probably a fairly normal night.

Midway through the second half of the show and after everyone had taken a 30 minute break, Britney appeared back on stage in Dallas, Texas among all the wild yelling and whistling that only those in Texas can do. For perhaps twenty minutes the crowd got an eyeful right after they had gotten a belly-full of beer at the break.

Hidden under a big white cowboy hat, sat Kyu Sakimoto, listening to the crowd go wild and getting a little wilder-eyed by the moment.

You see, Mr. Sakimoto, who was in Fort Worth nearby on a business trip for his newly marketed more-environmentally-friendly, experimental hydrogen beer, had been drinking the special Japanese beer that he had brought with him into the United States for his presentation in Milwaukee.

During halftime of the show, so Mr. Sakimoto later related to the police, he had drank 12 of those beers. He had not set out to drink that many but after remembering reading about some bar scenes back home in Tokyo and being totally drunk, he had decided to impress Ms. Britney and outdo these rodeo clowns.

Mr. Skimoto's Kasaka Beer is brewed using hydrogen gas replacing the carbon dioxide. This does not harm the beer nor the drinker in the least. However, it can produce a very high voice and is very entertaining in karaoke bars as the singers sound like chipmunks.

He had also read where a man could burp and use his cigarette lighter to produce a blow-torch like flame from the gas, similar to the fire-breathers in the circus.

But, just to be sure it worked & in order to impress Ms Britney, he kept adding a drop of lighter fluid into his beer.

So after the third Cowboy had been escorted off the stage wanting to ride a wild buck for Britney, Mr. Sakimoto suddenly appeared on stage, completely undressed except for his white hat and cowboy boots and yelling. "I'm no horse rider, I am Godzilla" in an amazing high-pitched voice and proceeded to burp and flame away.

The first two stage hands that tried to tackle Mr. Sakimoto suddenly lost their eyebrows and one's mustache curled up and turned black as coal.

Next, a lady in the front row, apparently wearing quite a bit of hair spray, had her head suddenly flame up while her husband and a friend beat her about the head and poured beer over her.

Meanwhile, back on stage was Mr. Sakimoto staggering after Britney while yelling, "I not hurt you. I'm Godzilla! Whooooosh!"

Although no one was seriously hurt, most of the audience suddenly left the show, including the star who hid backstage, and by the time the Dallas police arrived, Mr. Sakimoto was being carried around on the shoulders of four cowboys yelling "He's Godzilla!"

Update: Hydrogen beer still off market. Britney still locked in dressing room.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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