Primary school students have been banned from reading the teen cult classic Twilight books because they are too considered too racy.
Librarians have stripped the books from shelves in some junior schools because they believe the content is too sexual and goes against some parents religious beliefs, according to...well...me.
"The kids are getting the Twilight books and the actors playing the roles in the movies all mixed together", stated one teacher.
"Some parents have also called in and told us that it is against their religion for kids to go around bitting each other on the neck."
They have even asked their parents not to let kids bring their own copies of Stephenie Meyer's smash hit novels, which explore the stormy and, apparently, steamy love affair between a teenage girl and a vampire, to school.
"I had to send for one kid's mother when he kept jumping off his chair and growling", stated teacher Alice Patsy Bloomerbunch.
"Look here in my desk."
"But those are Bubba teeth", stated reporter Jason Anderson of the Inquisitor.
"Is he the one all the little girls are running after? Funny name, Bubba."