'America was talking about ME before that witch came along', cried Octomom.
I was interviewing her for another video when she asked her if she was a Susan Boyle fan. Susan's CD 'I Screamed A Scream' had just been released and one of her neighbors gave her a copy as a 'welcome to the neighborhood' gift.
She threw the CD on her ceramic tilled floor imported from Italy, stomped on it, and ripped up the CD cover which was a picture of Pebbles urinating on Susan's silver gown she wore on the BGT tours. Thank goodness her neighbor wasn't upset or there would have been some serious hair pulling and manicured nail scratching.
'I have 500 more', said the neighbor. 'I blew my disability checks for the next few months, but it was worth it to see Susan become a multi-billionaire. I don't care if I get evicted for not paying my rent and have to apply for food stamps. Knowing Susan will live a lavish lifestyle is more important than a roof over my head, food on the table and TP in the bathroom.'
Octomom's mother yelled, 'It would have been a nice CD for the children to play with in the sand box' and that she should apologize to the neighbor. She kicked her mother out of the house - again.
'I don't want my mother near my children if she is going to use the name Susan Boyle around them. They don't need to grow up hearing that exploited name. I want my children to have a normal life like every test tube baby should.'
Octomom said she read in Storm celebrity gossip magazine that Dr Phil had given Susan a house in Paris and a Jaguar as a bribe to get her to leave that animal hospital.
'You shouldn't believe everything you read,' I said.
'I'll believe what I want to believe', cooed Mom as she tossed back her head and flipped her long black hair from side to side so it annoyingly hung in her face. 'Besides, Susan will never be a size 2, have 38DDs, have big puffy lips, get a PhD and raise 14 children as a single mom.'
That was the end of my interview with Octomom. The children were waking up from their naps and she didn't want them on camera because that would mean she would have to pay them wages. Boy I thought she hated Kate Grosslines because she got a free tummy tuck and Octomom had to pay for her own. I read somewhere that Simon Says likes full puffy lips though.
Don't act surprised when Susan Boyle tours the world singing from BIG puffy lips.