Much to the amazement of people who don't buy Hello, Hurrah or Garbage Weekly, a journalist from the Cheam Review newspaper has discoverd a genuine use for Peaches and Pixie Geldof.
Normally referred to as 'celebrities' by stupid and incoherent tabloid journalists who wouldn't know a news story if it stood up and suicide bombed them in the face, Chaz Endave, who is the obituary writer at the Cheam Review, has found a genuine use for the two girls.
It seems that the Cheam Women's Institute had been complaining to the Cheam District Council that the door on the Cheam Community Centre they use for their weekly meetings keeps banging like Katie Price in a roomful of strange men.
However, the Council insisted that it was down to the Institute members to arrange to fix the door for themselves. The local representative from Doors'R'Us wanted several hundred pounds for the job, and the WI felt that this was immorally expensive, given the value they added to the local community.
Mr Endave suggested that he has seen the Geldof girls lying prone on many occasions and that they might actually prove to be quite successful as door stops.
The Geldof girls will have their first trial next Wednesday when the lie down and jam the doors closed at the annual general meeting of the Institute.