Police riot squads today descended on The Rovers Return Pub in Coronation Street, Weatherfield responding to a code red emergency after Blanche, Dierdre's mum, was accused of queue jumping the Betty's hotpot line ahead of Emily Bishop, who has been in mourning following the demise of Manuel off Fawlty Towers, who passed away after learning that his granddaughter was a member of the Satanic Sluts dance group, who had been 'doing things' with Russell Brand.
Bishop reacted emotionally when Blanche snatched the remaining Betty's hotpot.
"Hey you! That's my hotpot!" she protested. "I ordered that!"
"Get your thieving hands off it!" Blanche replied.
At which point, Bishop made a grab for the hotpot, calling Blanche a 'rotter'
Norris Cole and Roy Cropper tried to intervene, but became involved in their own fistfight as Norris called Hayley a 'tranny'
The situation deteriorated further when 'evil' David Platt let a stink bomb off and Jack Duckworth farted.
Kevin Webster took advantage of the situation by nipping off for a quick, nasty bonk with Tyrone's other half, while Sally Webster protested to anyone who'd listen that she wasn't a slapper.
Despite millions of viewers knowing otherwise.
Tony Gordon is still bonking Maria, even though he was the one who had her husband-to-be 'mudded' (works best in a Scots accent) Mud Dud, or similar.
Meanwhile, Becky get's thinner all the time.
More soap related silliness as we get it.