Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 31 August 2009

image for Robert Pattinson's Shock Revelation!
She Washes Her Hair. You Can Tell. It's Still Wet.

Twilight star Robert Pattinson today appalled and delighted in equal measure, his legions of teen girl fans all over the world by casually announcing that he doesn't wash his hair because he simply doesn't really see the point.

Pattinson fan, Moonbeam Iolanthe Crocushead, of Haight Ashbury, San Francisco, told me:

"In a world where the important things in life don't seem to be of any importance any more, I think it's a sweeping condemnation by Robert, stated in the most forceful way, that there are more important things than oil, widespread government corruption, and war casualties. I applaud him for making such a courageous statement on hair care at such a difficult time."

At the opposite end of the fan base, Zelda Summer Solstice Braindrain, of Mulholland drive, Los Angeles told us:

"He doesn't wash his hair? Jeeze, what a skank. I used to fantasize about him!

"Imagine waking up next to that sleazeball in the morning, all, like covered in dandruff and shit! Oh migod! I've like, totally had it with that sleazoid.

"From now on it's the Jonas Brothers or nothing for me."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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