Written by Bureau
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Topics: bernard madoff

Friday, 28 August 2009

image for Bernie Madoff Now Accused Of Singing Frog Swindle
"Hello To You My Ragtime Gal!"

Apparently alongside his crooked investment schemes, officers have now discovered that Bernie Madoff stole millions more by selling the same "Singing Frog" over and over again.

"First he'd use a really big toad and hide a small bug made in Japan under it's skin when he presented the Singing Frog. It'd do this "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal" and people would offer him thousands of dollars for it. However, once the person bought it, it wouldn't do anything, so Bernie would have a colleague to purchase the Singing Frog back for hundreds."

Among those swindled out of millions and who haven't came forward because they are embarrassed are said to be: Ozzie Osbourne who kept the frog and wouldn't sell it back, apparently mesmerized by it's natural voice, so Madoff had to go find another one.

According to Ozzy, "I finally got tired of that Louie Armstrong voice with the ribbets. So I ate him. Tasted like chicken...shit. So there, now everyone knows. Ozzy Osbourne knows what chicken shit tastes like. It'll be headlines by tomorrow."

But others did sell the frog back to Bernie's accomplice in order for the whole incident to be hushed up or else they would sue.

In all, over 200 well-known people in the entertainment field, and 300 politicians who wrote it off as "Entertainment", purchased and resold the frog.

The whole affair finally came to light in early August when Bob Dylan, John Mellencamp and Willie Nelson were performing together in Muncie, Indiana and Dylan had to pee during "Pancho & Lefty", subbed the frog while he made a quick exit, and Willie told Mellencamp at the song's end, "There's a witch in the crowd, Mellencamp, take a look at Bob."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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