Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 27 August 2009

image for Ted Kennedy's Corpse Signed to Play The Blob in Movie Remake
After Ted killed Mary Jo, his future aspirations took a bridge to nowhere.

Ted Kennedy's corpse, bloated and purple, has been signed to play the title character in "The Blob" movie remake. The film is set to begin shooting this week in Hollywood.

Film director Rob Zombie said that "we thought Teddy would be just perfect for the role. He's fat, really obese in fact. Now that he's dead, it's even better. We don't expect his corpse to rot any to spoil it for the other actors since the man was always pickled. Because of that, we may have to give him a little make-up."

When asked if Ted would get his own trailer, Zombie said that it really wasn't good for filming. "We've put Ted in this old Oldsmobile and we kind of roll it off this bridge into the water at night. Every morning, we pull it out of the water. We think it helps him keep his bloated look...and it kind of reminds everyone of his colorful past."

After filming concludes on The Blob, Kennedy's corpse will be kept in a prop cabinet in Hollywood. It will await the possibility of sequels and the required press junkets to promote the movie. It has also been signed to play the title role in The Rosie O'Donnell Story.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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