Los Angeles - (Reuterus): Online bookmakers Aintgottaprayer.con are quoting even money on Hollywood movie star Leonardo DiCaprio turning up for his father Ted Kennedy's funeral on Saturday.
"Of course the Body of Lies star won't be an actual pall bearer," LA FagHagSlagMag spokesman Dave Skank commented.
"Too damned scared that Caroline Kennedy might shoot him with that Colt 45 she carries around in her Prada purse."
The Titanic actor has always acted coy about the astonishing similarities between his DNA and that of father Ted.
In 2004 Caroline's then 16 year old daughter Rose Kennedy Schlossberg nearly let the cat out of the bag about DiCaprio on her FaecesBook blog.
"Mom says I can't ever marry Leo because our kids would all be moron zombies," the teenager explained during a five page rant about the dangers of cousin inbreeding.
Kate Winslet is Hillary Clinton's daughter and Tom Hank's Pa is big Bill himself.