Lady Gaga's actual sex, which has generated much speculation which finally resulted in violent rampaging though the streets of London last week, now has a definite conclusion according to experts at Southend University today.
I asked Dr Comely (BSc. W.NKer) who's team of students on the polular BSc in Gag-ology made the amazing discovery.
Comely says, "We examined 250 images of Lady Gaga over the course of the year in an attempt to categorically sex her".
Comely Continues, "Multiple images have been used "prove" whether she is a he (or otherwise) in the press and on You Tube, including her recent Glastonbury appearance when 'it' apparently fell out."
Dr Comely explains, "Many of the pictures occasionally show bulges around the crotch or the appearance of tampon strings or panty liner wings".
These pictures have resulted in heated mass debates whether she's baguette or bagel but Comely has an answer to the media confusion.
"These bulges and menstrual paraphernalia are simply props to create confusion. Bulges may come and go but no picture shows any evidence of camel toe, conclusively proving that she's not a she"
So she's a he?
"It's neither", Comely continues, "there are no sexual organs or orifices of any kind, like a shop dummy, you could kick it in the cunt all day and you wouldn't bother it"
And how does Lady G go to the toilet?
"Fuck knows", Says Comely.