Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Tuesday, 8 September 2009

image for Sir Paul McCartney May Invite Susan Boyle To Join Beatles
I Am The Walrus, I Am The Eggman, I Am The Walrus...

London -- Sir Paul McCartney, 68, is thinking of asking Scottish songbird Susan Boyle to replace John Lennon, as lead singer of The Beatles. The idea of reforming the Beatles has been on Sir Paul's mind for many years now. He hopes to reform the famous band, he said, "before the end of the century."

When Sir Paul first heard Susan Boyle sing last Spring, he burst into tears.

"She reminds me of John in drag!" said Sir Paul, who had very wide pupils and was struggling to stay seated upright. "I was sitting on the couch last night with Linda and we had the telly on. This dowdy bird comes on and sings one of me old songs. Me and Linda just looked at each other and started cryin'..." he said with a glazed look.

"I wanted to tell John [Lennon] about the idea, but he wasn't picking up the phone. I also wanted to tell George, but he stopped talking to me years ago, just like John. I don't know why." said the stoned old man.

"Can't believe how fast time goes." he said as he lit his fourth joint. "Next year is 1970, can't believe how fast time goes." he repeated.

"And who is this Susan Boyle bird I keep hearing about. Do you think she might like to join the Beatles? I have to call John, and see what he thinks." he said, before passing out.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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