Paula Abdul, recently fired by American Idol as a celebrity judge, will not be joining the cast of Ugly Betty like she wanted to. Producers of the hit comedy show said that Abdul's demands removed her from consideration for the part.
An assistant producer said that; "First, Paula wanted us to give her a private jet with a pilot. She also demanded that the pilot be in his early twenties and either black or hispanic with a, in her words, tight little butt."
"Next, she wanted up to change the name of our show from Ugly Betty to Pretty Paula and make her the feature character."
"Third, she wanted not only a private trailer, which is pretty standard, but she also wanted a second private trailer that was a fully stocked bar with a nightclub type dance floor and a disco ball."
A representative of Abdul's agency said that Paula is now in negotiations to join several other shows. The possibilities include:
- Joining the cast of "Two and a Half Men" to make it "Two and a Half Men and a Hot Lady"
- Joining the nerds on the new "The Big I'd Like to Bang Paula Abdul Theory"
- Adding a segment narrated by her to the end of the popular news magazine show to make it "Sixty-nine Minutes"
- Joining a soap opera and making it into "As The World Turns Around Paula Abdul"
- Re-imagining an old show and calling it "The Six Million Dollar Make-Over"