Written by Arthur Pint
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Topics: Britney Spears

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

image for Dwarf Stuck In Britney's Rear Entrance
This is a dwarf, but not the actual dwarf

Los Angeles police yesterday described how they had to call the fire department to remove a dwarf who had become wedged in Britney Spear's rear entrance.

Police were called to the home of Ms Spears, 52, in the early hours of yesterday morning after a call from a local security company, who reported that the alarm system in the head-shaving star's home had detected an intruder.

Law enforcement officers arrested Milo Filo, the self-proclaimed 'Rhyming Dwarf', after finding him stuck in a dog-flap installed in the rear door of the star's home.

Security cameras revealed that Mr Filo had smothered himself in two bottles vegetable oil before attempting to squeeze through Ms Spears' rear flap.

Police speculated that the dwarf had tried to enter through the tight opening in Ms Spears rear entrance in order to steal valuable items from her lavish mansion. Mr Filo protested his innocence, claiming to be trying to steal dog food for his minature poodle, Larry, who 'has not had a decent meal for weeks' as his owner still desperately searches for work as a professional basket ball player.

In a recent celebrity magazine interview, Ms Spears revealed that she doesn't really like having much 'back door' action, so will undoubtedly be very upset by this unexpected rear entry.

A police spokesman agreed, saying "Ms Spears will no doubt be very upset by this incident, now f**k off and get your dinner, you've milked this story for all its worth".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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