Michael Jackson is to celebrate his 51st birthday by being buried at Forest Lawn cemetry, LA.
The ceremony, sponsored by the National Society for the Protection of Children, is to be televised for an anticipated audience of 16 billion.
Diana Ross and Elisabeth Taylor will give readings and Michael himself will give the eulogy through Uri Geller.
Cremation had been planned but LA City planners vetoed the idea of using the giant birthday cake as a funeral pyre.
A spokesman for the American Society of Masterbakers paused from beating for a moment to comment.
"We had baked a huge cake in anticipation of Michael's birthday with thick frosting, monkeys and everything and he ups and dies! And the city won't even let us use it to cremate him!
It would have been the icing on the cake to be allowed to make this final tribute"! sobs Eugene Titfondue, the Big Nozzle of the local chapter.
Dr Conrad Murray, Jackson's personal physician, is sickened by the fact that cremation has not been permitted as the remains will be available for further autopsy.