Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Saturday, 15 August 2009

image for "American Idol" Judge Interviews Crashed by Susan Boyle
Susan Boyle spotted on her way to the "American Idol" replacement interviews?

Hollywood, California - Reportedly, Susan Boyle is emotionally blackmailing Simon Cowell. Threatening to make another scandal of herself by having another psychotic breakdown and checking into a Rehab center again, if he does not select her as Paula Abdul's replacement on "American Idol".

So far Simon Cowell has refused to concede to her demands but that has not stopped Susan Boyle from trying other means of getting onto the popular show, but this time around as a judge.

According to associate producers of the "American Idol" show, Susan Boyle has successfully infiltrated the replacement interviews they are currently conducting.

Producers say they knew it was Susan Boyle as each time she arrived at the interviews she come in dressed as herself and dragging behind her a suitcase filled with makeup, heading straight for the women's restroom, emerging hours later disguised as someone else.

"She came in here several times already just today alone," said an associate producer of the show. "The first time she disguised herself as Paula Abdul, asking for her old job back."

However, that disguise did not seem to workout so well for Boyle, as when the producers asked her as Paula Abdul to give the reason why she left in the show in the first place, she could not answer the question and simply walked off the set, disappearing into the bathroom.

"The second time she emerged from the lady's room, she claimed to be a member of a dance troop like the one she lost to," said another producer. "And when we asked her where the other members of her dance troop were, she just sat there. Again all quite like. And then got up and walked away again."

Finally, said producers, Susan Boyle sat for the interview dressed as herself.

"She sat there demanding to speak with Simon," said another producer. "Threatening to hold her breath until her face turned blue and she passed out and then she would check herself into Rehab. So we all waited until she passed out and took our lunch break."

When the producers returned an hour later, Susan Boyle was gone.

"All we found was a makeup imprint on the ground in the shape of her body where she fell," said producers. "It looked like one of those body chalk outlines left behind at a crime scene, only out of makeup."

Later producers discovered Susan Boyle's makeup suitcase in the bathroom, so they say they have no cause for concern.

"She'll be back," said producers. "She won't dare check into Rehab without her makeup suitcase. She needs it to fool the psychiatrist that she has a multiple personality disorder."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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