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Thursday, 13 August 2009

image for Noel Gallagher has nervous breakdown after watching Hamlet
Noel headbutted an audience member out of boredom

Oasis star Noel Gallagher is receiving treatment in hospital for a nervous breakdown after watching a performance of Hamlet at London's Wyndham theatre.

Doctors say Gallagher couldn't understand much of what was going on in the play, and he found it difficult to cope with the nuances of the language. One audience member witnessed Gallagher looking frustrated and was overheard whispering to his partner: "What the fuck is all this poncey shit about?"

The indie star was seen visibly shaken after the play was over and, wearing sunglasses, hurriedly left the theatre.

During the ride back to his house, he suffered the breakdown and was rushed to hospital. His brother Liam arrived and punched a medic for no discernible reason.

A spokesman for the Oasis songwriter says he's expected to make a full recovery. Doctors are advising him to avoid anything too taxing in future and to stick to Guy Ritchie films.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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