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Topics: Angelina Jolie

Sunday, 9 August 2009

image for Angelina Jolie Found Hiding Behind Trees
"He did WHAT??"

After receiving a report of a shot fired near the residence if Angelina Jolie, police say they found the shaken actress hiding in the trees behind her house.

"We couldn't get anything from her at first because she was badly frightened as a shotgun blast had fired through her window", stated Police office Hal Jordan this morning.

"We actually caught the culprit by following the evidence of a thumb found lying on a tree stump some thirty yards outside the window, but we could not find Ms. Jolie."

Jolie, who was badly shaken from the incident, did not settle down after she was found among the trees even after being told someone had been arrested, a big fan of hers who was a just little confused.

Apparently, according to his story, Mr. Allie McKey, has been "Pertectin' "Ms. Jolie" for months from outside her home.

McKey then told police that he had a regular night shift so that Ms. Jolie could rest without all the fans troubling her.

"I sit out there ever night and guard the house if she is at home", stated McKey. "However, last night I set down my old shotgun on a squirrel I didn't see and the thing went nuts, the squirrel, not the shotgun, it (squirrel) caught the trigger and that set off the shotgun and when I saw it went through Ms. Jolie's window, I panicked, even to leaving my thumb at the scene which had been blown off. I figured the dang squirrel had probably eaten it by then anyways."

Police had checked the local hospitals but they reported no new patients with a lost thumb. They also tried to save the thumb by packing it in ice. However, once Mckey was caught, medics tried to reattach the thumb but without success as it was in more than one piece and had been chewed on.

Ms. Jolie was said to be resting at home this afternoon and peacefully, once she was told the whole story.

So how did they catch McKey so early? Nope, the squirrel didn't rat on him. It was by tracing his thumb print.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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