In a shocking movement, TheSpoof.com can exclusively reveal that someone has smiled on the set of the misery-misery BBC1 soap, EastEnders. The perpetrator is not yet known, but suspisions are mainly upon hardman, gruff-talking wild boar sound-a-like toughboy, Phil Mitchell.
A TheSpoof reporter went undercover on the London set, posing as an actor hoping to appear as an extra on a future episode of the soap. Dressed in the suitable attire, the reported was auditioning for the role of the new love interest for Wellard the Dog when the smile took place.
EastEnders insiders fiercely deny all allegations. In a statement, they state, "We fiercely deny all allegations. Smiling simply does not happen on the set. It's banned under our official set of rules. Happy thoughts are against our morals." The statement goes on to say, "These allegations are as ludicrous as the accusation of a relationship on the show not ending in bitterness, remorse, hatred and the possible abuse of a drug of some sort!"
These events come after BBC bosses made emergency plans for the most popular show in Britain in the unlikely event that it did what is now known at the Beeb as an 'Eldorado', and go off the air.
"We're planning to have Walford hit by a meteorite," says Chief Staff Writer Dan Potter. "Every single person living in Albert Square will be killed in spectacular circumstances, albeit amidst pain, anguish and suffering due to relationship break ups and possible abuse of a drug of some sort."
"Naturally, the meteorite will have been having an affair with one of the moons of Saturn, which will send it's former lover, the Asteroid 2843XK, into a spiralling breakdown that may result into the possible abuse of a Nebuli of some sort."
The BBC are investigating further into the claims. Phil Mitchell is quoted as saying, "I just want my daughter back!!"