Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 7 August 2009

image for Florida Man Claims His Cat Pussywillow Downloads Pornography
Pussywillow getting ready to log onto the computer and no doubt go into some pornographic site.

JENSEN BEACH, Florida - A 48-year-old Jensen Beach resident, Keith Griffin, was arrested and charged with 981 counts of possessing pornography.

Jensen Beach police also found 47 million images on his computer and they said that about 46 million were definitely pornographic in nature. The others were just photos of things like donuts, muffins, hot dogs, tacos, melons, cookies, and bananas.

As Griffin was sitting in the backseat of the police car he told police officer Derek Avellini that he did not download the pornography and that it had been downloaded by his cat Pussywillow.

Griffin insisted that he hardly ever uses the computer because he is too busy reading his subscriptions to Playboy, Hustler, and Gal-Pals.

He insisted that Pussywillow memorized his password and that she logs on after he goes to sleep and then she proceeds to go surfing for porn on the Internet.

Avellini said, "Well I find it kind of strange that this guy's female cat is logging on to pornographic sites and looking at females. I mean doesn't that make Pussywillow a cat-dyke or somethin'?"

The cat's owner hinted he had a similar view. "I noticed that one day last week, I caught Pussywillow out in the back porch and she was making out with Freckles, my neighbor's female Persian cat."

Griffin also said that he had recently noticed that Pussywillow had been strutting around in a kind of masculine cat way.

"I thought it seemed a little odd."

He then laughed and said he should have learned his lesson last month when Pussywillow took his VISA credit card out of his wallet and charged 25 sacks of Kibbles 'n Bits to his online account.

SIDENOTE A: Keith Griffin was led away in the police car with the police car lights flashing and the siren blaring. Officer Avellini stated that they had to get Mr. Griffin behind bars as soon as humanly possible. Pussywillow meanwhile, has been taken to the police animal shelter where she has been booked as 'Exhibit C.'

SIDENOTE B: Officer Avellini said that Pussywillow has been booked to appear on The Bonnie Hunt Show sometime in September.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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