New York, NY-- Producers of the hit show 'American Idle' have replaced judge Paula Abdul with a fat, juicy turd! The nameless turd recently made headlines by marrying a man in San Francisco. Producers were so impressed with the turd's demeanor, they signed it to a five-year contract.
Paula Abdul had no comment about being fired. Paula wasn't aware that she was still working on the show--she thought it was all a dream! If Paula ever had an idea, her hair would catch on fire.
Simon was very vocal about sharing the stage with a giant, fat turd. "Well, it's really just changing one piece of shit for another." he giggled. "I hope this turd doesn't smell as bad as Paula did!" he lisped.
Meanwhile, the fat and juicy turd will be making the rounds of talk-shows. Oprah, Dr. Phil, Ellen, and the ladies on 'The View' will all get their chance to hug and kiss the giant piece of shit. The fat, juicy turd might even show up at the White House if everything works out!