Recently deceased (or is he?) Michael Jackson's extended family have requested the public for assistance in keeping Michael's story alive.
"Let us hear your conspiracy theories about how the IRA did away with Michael" pleads his bereft father at the 48th memorial service in Wall St, NY this afternoon, - "or your ideas on how the Basque separatist group, ETA, had a hand in his assassination".
Jackson's brothers and sisters also add their pleas - "can anyone explain Michael's bank and credit card PIN numbers? Or shed any light upon where the advance on his concert tour has gone - where was his safety deposit vault?
For the Jackson tribe is seeing a downturn in cashflow, not obviously attributable to the credit crunch and are having difficulty in meeting private detective bills.
Janet Jackson is reported as threatening to double up on wardrobe "malfunctions" at Superbowl 2010 if necessary to recoup financial losses.
"We must keep spending on Michael's records, videos and clothing range" explains his father - "only by keeping up the cashflow can we be sure that, eventually, the truth about Michael will be told. Publicity is the answer - and you, the public can provide it".
A number of audience members from the most prestigious banking and investment houses in the USA had to be restrained by the cardinal as they whooped and punched the air.