Written by Frankie The J
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Thursday, 30 July 2009

image for Dolly Parton to give two pounds of titty to Taylor Swift: "Heck, I'll never miss 'em!"
An artist's concepion of how Taylor Swift's boobs will look after receiving two pounds of titty from Dolly Parton

Dolly Parton, the woman who stuffs fifty pounds of titties into a twenty-five pound sack, has graciously decided to give one pound of breast tissue from each of her melons to country music sensation Taylor Swift. "Somebody stole that poor girl's titties," said Parton from her office in Dolly wood. "Either that, or the good Lord kept some back in order to make up for giving that child such a remarkable voice," she said.

"I have always looked up to Ms. Parton," said the demure songstress. "I hope I will make her proud to have sacrificed so much for a gal who has such little knockers, Swift gushed. "I mean, look at these. Even Ann Coulter has larger breasts than me," she said disgustedly.

Several of Swift's management team urged the 20-year-old to forego any plans to have silicon beast augmentation surgery. "She's little more than a child. Authentic Dolly Titties are far more natural looking, and she'll still be able to nurse those young'ins when they come," stated a source close to Taylor.

"That child's legs are great," said Parton. "They make an ass of themselves, too. With hooters to match the rest of the package, she'll be unbeatable," Dolly told reporters.

Plans are also underway to see that Swift's rug matches her drapes. But that's another story for another day!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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