Stories are running rampant that Bono, legendary leader of the rock group U2, has met up with a serious accident. His behaviour has become extremely erratic and not like him at all.
In the early 70's there were the "Paul McCartney is dead" rumours. Today... "Bono is quiet"
U2 manager,Paul McGuinness, confirmed that Bono suddenly "just shut up". "It dawned on him he really wasn't smarter than everyone else and had nothing left to say that everyone else couldn't figure out."
An unnamed Amnesty International representative was quite upset. "If we can't keep Bono talking, who's going to listen to us?"
A blunt blow to the head with drumsticks???
Only one member of U2, drummer Larry Mullen Jr., could be reached for comment. "Maybe it was time for him to shut up, you think? Write a f'in' love song and shut your trap, you know? The boys and I are tired of hanging out in the Vatican and White House and all the damn castles everywhere."
Investigators, looking for some precedent, initially checked for clues with former rock star and mega-spokesman, Bob Geldof. "No," Geldof responded, "people eventually just stopped listening to me, it wasn't that I could ever shut up..."