Written by Chamone
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Topics: Movies, Fred Astaire

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

image for Local Man Fury Over Missing Fred Astaire Film Festival

Local man Hugh Ryan was furious with rage after arriving at his local cinema and discovering that he was 50 years late for a Fred Astaire-themed film festival.

Mr. Ryan arrived in full swanky regalia of top hat, coat and tails, but upon entering the lobby his was accosted by local cinema attendant youths in hoodies who mocked and degraded him after impolitely insinuating that Fred Astaire was "gay" and that tap dancing was "for knobs".

Mr. Ryan recently came out of a very long coma and apparently the first words he spoke were "fetch me top hat. I'm off to razzle dazzle with Fred!".

Mr. Ryan then had to sit through 2 hours of a noisy Jerry Bruckheimer action movie involving tits in tops, guns, mayhem and explosions.
The man said he stubbornly sat through the entire movie - right up until the end credits - just in case Fred Astaire might appear on screen.

Mr. Ryan said he liked the near naked ladies with bouncing boobies but was disappointed that that these modern "picture movies" didn't feature dance routines involving smiling, clicking of heels and generally acting like a knobjockey.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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