Written by Wire Piddle
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Monday, 27 July 2009

image for La Toya Jackson Wants Barney Miller To Investigate Michael Jackson's Murder

Los Angeles, CA La Toya Jackson had a press conference outlining her wish to have several famous names in law enforcement and crime investigation to come forward and aid in the investigation of the murder of her brother, Michael Jackson.

Ms. Jackson presented the following list to reporters:



Barnaby Jones, P.I.
Captain Barney Miller
Detective Phil Fish
Detective Frank Cannon
Captain Frank Furillo
Detective James Rockford
Author Jessica Fletcher
Col. John "Hannibal" Smith
Sgt. Pepper Anderson
Marshal Sam McCloud
Dr. R Quincy, M.E.
Thomas Magnum, P.I.
Stewart McMillan & Wife


She has also requested the aid of defense attorney Ben Matlock. Following the presentation of the list, Ms. Jackson stated that '...no expense will be spared,' when it comes to the investigation into her brother's death.

However, some representatives privately noted their consternation as all of the people named in the list were actually fictional characters from 1970 and '80s American television dramas and the likelihood of finding these characters 'alive' in the biblical sense was probably quite remote.

Still, undeterred by this seemingly unsurmountable predicament, Ms. Jackson proceeded to go on a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive in her heavily bank-financed, chauffeur driven Bentley.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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