Thomas Craig, winner of the World Fudge Packing Championships, will appear on the Oprah Winfrey talk show this week. The news was announced by show spokesperson Barbarbara Gurt.
Craig, a native of San Fagcisco, was excited by the prospects of appearing on the show. "This is a dream come true for me because I just idolize Oprah. I mean, he/she's just one of the most influential people in the Gay world."
"I mean, he/she bought Obama the presidency and everything and I worship and pray to him/her and wish Comrade Barack would hurry up with his promise and put his/her picture on our money."
When asked about his performance in the Fudge Packing championships, Mr. Craig said "I did it by making sure that I didn't get my panties in a wad."
When asked if he would show his skill and prowess at the Oprah filming, Thomas said "I intend to drop my pants, bend over, and show everyone just how big of an asshole I am...er...have!"