As a testament to his concern for children worldwide, Michael Jackson has posthumously released an album of nursery rhymes, the proceeds from which are to go to children's charities throughout the world.
Even Jonathan Ross, one of the UK's foremost authorities on bad taste, has condemned the new single as "barbaric, tasteless, offensive, pornographic, disgraceful and a barrel of fun".
The single, taken from the new album "Dangle your baby to Sleep", is the old favourite, "I'm forever blowing bubbles".
A spokeswoman for the Association of Concerned People, dressed in a drab grey flannel suit and wearing Dame Edna spectacles, varicose vein stockings and a Paisley-pattern scarf said that in view of the singer's association with an ape called Bubbles, the title of this song could be misconstrued - especially by the moral minority who have nothing better to do during the day - as having bestial connotations.
The late Mary Whitehouse said that encouraging relationships between apes and humans is something that she personally wouldn't encourage, and it reminded her of the time she had to watch the film "Carry on Loving" eight times, accompanied only by a pound of peeled bananas, in order to be able to condemn it.