Written by Steddyeddy
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Topics: Michael Jackson

Monday, 27 July 2009

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Heavenly trumpet call

Following the recent death of pop star Michael Jackson from lack of breathing, the re-scheduling of his string of previously cancelled concerts has been announced.

The tour kicks off in late August for a week at the 400,000-seat Zombie Stadium in the Underworld, with special guest MC Hades. Special singing guests include the late Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain and Janis Joplin. Unfortunately, Sugarbabes and Girls Aloud are still alive and kicking, which is more than can be said for the songs they regularly murder.

The tour then moves to Heaven for a 13 night stay. Michael has commissioned a choir of 72 Virgins as backing singers, who, prior to his invitation, had become totally disaffected by the quality of male company they were receiving prior to this job.

The final leg of the tour moves to Hell and the 300,000 capacity Batoutof Stadium. Concert-goers have been advised to being plenty of water and that the wearing asbestos suits could be beneficial. Also, those of a nervous disposition shouldn't be too disconcerted by any of Michael's facial features that might change as a result of the intense heat.

Following the conclusion of the tour, Michael releases his eagerly-awaited new album "The Balcony", featuring the new single "My Baby's Dangling". Other songs on the album include the ballad "No Peter, it's not your Jordan" and the disco number "Papa's got a brand new face".

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