Written by BLAINE
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Wednesday, 20 March 2002

image for Gareth Gates can speak!
Gareth

In a shocking revelation, TheSpoof.com has found out that Gareth GGGGGGGGGates can actually speak properly. He announced this after revealing that Will only announced he was Gay due to him losing a contest of truth or dare, and the same apparently applied to Gareth.

"Well basically it all started after I was dabbling in hard drugs before the audition and it sort of f*cked me head up." he explained "Anyway I saw that Dr Fox start to eye me up as he thought I was vulnerable, so I kept the act for a sympathy vote, but you bastards didn't vote for me".

Gareth started at this point to shoot up heroin mixed with his new sponser Pepsi. "Anyway," he continued "you all falled for it".

As we left, Gareth collapsed on the floor. If he couldn't speak, people would help him, as it is though the lying bastard is left to die.

We all felt for him at one stage but now he is regarded in the same vein as Milli Vanilli and Jeffrey Archer. He can sing, but in pop all that matters is the truth!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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