Written by Wire Piddle
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Sunday, 26 July 2009

image for Adam Lambert's Shark Shaped Submarine Scares Malibu

Malibu, CA - Adam Lambert's specialty submarine, shaped like a shark, has Malibu colony actors scared skitless.

"I'm just afraid to go out in the morning and do any kind of performance. This shark has been sitting offshore for days and we're all just beside ourselves," said one aging thespian, dressed in a mauve gabardine pantsuit number with matching pumps.

Said resident Barbra Streisand, "...I hear it's that guy Adam Lambert, from American Idol. Okay Adam. You can sing. Get over yourself already. You don't need to drive around in a shark boat to get attention. Is this what the music business has come to? It's making me verklempt. Phone my agent, Ray Stark. He'll get you a small picture to star in. What do you mean Ray Stark is dead? When did that happen? Am I losing my mind? Oy!"

Still other residents have found it amusing and have taken to firing buckshot at Adam Lambert in his sub from their yachts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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