Written by Wire Piddle
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Saturday, 25 July 2009

image for Footage Of Michael Jackson Cavorting with Benny Hill Discovered

Los Angeles, CA - Tens upon tens of thousands of feet of undiscovered film footage of singer Michael Jackson doing slapstick gags with an as yet undead British comedian Benny Hill have been discovered and are expected to entertain the world for years to come and give a much needed boost to the bottom line of the Michael Jackson estate.

The footage could potentially take years to watch from start to finish if one was so inclined. It is believed the footage was taken in the south of France a few years before Benny Hill made his fateful decision to pass on.

One segment, which lasts about four hours, shows Michael Jackson trying to teach Benny Hill how to moonwalk. With every failed attempt, Benny Hill turns to his trusty sidekick, 'the old, bald man', and lightly bangs his forehead, much to the amusement of 'The King of Pop'. In another segment, roughly lasting six hours, Michael is shown being chased down a beach by a bevy of buxom beauties, all dressed in dental hygienist outfits, perhaps an ominous foreshadowing of his future travails with the medical profession in general and dental hygienists in particular.

Even more ominous is a sequence of hilarity showing Benny Hill in a doctors white coat administering an I.V. solution to Michael Jackson who is shown reclined on a very large bed. With every squeeze of the I.V. bag, the singer is shown to fall back as if to go into a deep sleep, only to waken up at the last minute. This is repeated several times until Benny Hill finally gives up and, with great force, whacks Michael on the forehead with a very large mallet.

It is expected that the Jackson estate will hire a production company to edit the footage into something more presentable to the public. Industry analysts believe the footage could be marketed as a box set of upwards of eight hundred DVD's and retail for approximately what it costs to buy a used car; a true 'collectors item' and memorial to two entertainment greats as well as a veritable goldmine for the cash starved and employment poor Jackson family.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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