SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "And that's exactly what you'd expect her to say in the title if you want anyone to read your article!" said The San Francisco Onion's marketing consultant.
He went on to inform the spoof writer that merely tossing a bunch of celebrity names, random places, verbs and such in a fishbowl and drawing out titles for his spoofs was "probably not the best strategy."
Instead, by tying funny stories to celebrity scandals (he called this "topical" humor), a spoof writer can generate virtually unlimited hits, he explained. Like Miley Cyrus having a crush on Vanessa Hudgens' boyfriend, Zac Efron - Wow!! Scandalous!!
"Look, by the time people get to this website," he said, "they're just too tired to think anymore. A funny story making fun of celebrities' misfortunes can help to ease the burden of a long day. That's all I'm saying."
I am presently considering his advice.
I'll let you know what happens, but right now, I'm just too tired to write a funny story.