Written by Chamone
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Topics: rock star, Van Halen

Thursday, 16 July 2009

image for VanHalen Star Involved in Local Man's Bridge Leap
Might as well JUMP!

Van Halen guitarist Eddie VanHalen was questioned overnight over his involvement in the attempted suicide of a local man Bobby Finch.

The legendary guitarist was out for an evening jog when he spotted Mr. Finch leaning over a bridge. The man's wife had left him, he had been sacked from his job as a mailman, his cat had recently been run over by a motorist - he was clearly suicidal.

But the sight of such a famous person in the area apparently distracted all thoughts of death from Finch's mind and he asked for an autograph.

Mr. VanHalen politely engaged the man in conversation and even offered to let the star struck man listen to his iPod.
Unfortunately, the only song Mr. VanHalen had on it was their hit single 'Jump'.

The lyrics "Jump! Might as well Jump! Go ahead and jump!" immediately had an effect on Finch, who's personality suddenly changed. The an leapt from the bridge - much to Mr. VanHalen's surprise.

Lukily the bridge was only 2ft tall - it was one built by gnomes in the 1800's - and the man survived with minor injuries to his ego.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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