Following a phone conversation with Simon Cowbell regarding an embarrasssing for all-concerned moment when Cowbell went mental playing the spoons and other cutlery to Booker T And The MG's Stax classic, 'Soul Limbo' aka the BBC cricket theme, the Spoof dot com can report that that Cowbell has another hidden talent.
Charming the panties off the ladies!
Cowbell was reportedly consoling long-time ex cock-softener, the warbler Sinitta, who once had a hit with something about 'Toy Boys' following her traumatic divorce from the bloke she got married to.
Cowbell, who doesn't dye his hair, has not got man-boobs, is not a total prick, and does in no way have a cock the size of a bookie's pen, told us:
"I don't have all these beautiful women trying to get me into bed just because I'm a rich bastard. I have charisma."
"That's all bollocks that is," Sinitta told us. "Charisma my arse. It's all about the money. And by the way, his cock is smaller than a bookie's pen."
Simon Cowbell never pisses in a public urinal owing to self-consciousness regarding penis size, or lack of. He pisses in a cubicle where nobody can see him.
Old men and young girls, not a good combination.
Ask Rod Stewart, or Ronnie Wood.
Who both have cocks like bookie's pens. Allegedly.
More on this as we get it.