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Friday, 10 July 2009

image for Cult of Jesus Budda Now Chamone's Personality Cult
The dress keeps shrinking as your contribution level rises.

The infamous Cult of Jesus Budda, led by the mysterious floating fat man, has officially been disolved (at least for now). No tax deductible contributions will be refunded (even though they are still being accepted) and promised merchandise will not be shipped.

When asked to explain, Jesus Budda (a.k.a. Chamone), said that "I decided I was tired of being an overweight, fifty year old fat man with hemorrhoids and a bad knee. I wanted to someone younger and more fun. I was also tired of my man boobs and wanted to change them in for a nice rack. Scratching your balls gets really old after a while, so I also decided to change those in for a different set of equipment."

Jesus Budda had now transformed himself into a 19 year old girl named Ally with an older sister named Rachel and a dead mother ("I didn't want anyone telling me to pick up my room or that I was dressed slutty").

Membership in the Cult of Jesus Budda will automatically transfer to the Chamone Personality Cult. Dues at the lowest level are $15 a month and not refundable. A membership kit includes an autographed picture of Chamone (semi naked, but with fewer clothes as the donation level goes up), along with instructions on where to send your tithing and the proper form of prayer.

When asked if there was anything else interested people needed to know, Ally added "If you're good, I'll let you paint my toenails or sniff my bicycle seat."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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