Los Angeles, CA - Two token white folk, Brooke Shields and John Mayer, will be attending the Michael Jackson Memorial today. Two other token white folk, actress Elizabeth Taylor and Jackson's ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, have passed up the invitation as they can get a better view on their digital flat screen televisions. Ms. Taylor also noted the convenience of her 'powder room' as a deciding factor.
One other notable no-show will be Sir Paul McCartney, former collaborator of Michael Jackson's. Said Sir Paul, "I sort of had a falling out with Michael. He bought my songs and when I asked him to raise my royalty rate, he balked. His stinginess is almost as famous as my own."
Brook Shields, popular actress who starred in the movie The Blue Lagoon (1980), once dated Mr. Jackson in the mid-eighties, about the time his face started to go funny. Speaking of her loss, Ms. Shields stated, "It's such a tragedy really. He passed away before anyone made a notation about my relationship with him on his wikipedia page."
For his part, John Mayer, popular musician who likes taking black folks music and playing it to white folks, will play his hit song, 'Your Body Is A Wonderland'. "I dedicate this song to all those enabling doctors out there," Mr. Mayer said.
Reverend Al Sharpton stated in confidence that, "...the fact there are so few white people on stage should not reflect poorly on The Jackson Family. It's just that we don't like the way these white folk all crowd around the open bar."
Although several of the white folk that made Michael Jackson Inc. the powerhouse, money making industry that it is today will not be appearing onstage, they have been given positions of responsibility in the coat check room.
Reverend Sharpton also issued this directive, "Keep your valuables at home...heh..heh..heh."