Los Angeles, CA - Michael Jackson's brain has been withheld from grieving relatives as it undergoes further toxicological testing. Unfortunately, this has forced his survivors to postpone the brain's burial to a future date.
Although not a well-known fact, this is actually common practice in Western countries. Said Funeral Director, Martin Sparkly, "People would be surprised how many of their deceased relatives have been interred brainless. It's a pity, though, that people are spending upwards of $25,000 on a casket and the package inside is incomplete. It's sort of like when you buy a box of cereal and the last bowl is like sawdust. Or when you buy a jar of strawberry jam and 1/3 of it is seedless; only gelatin. Or when you buy a chocolate pudding and you have to throw away that rubbery inedible skin. I hate that. Actually that's not a very good analogy. That doesn't make sense."
For his part, Reverend Al Sharpton is delighted with developments as it gives him a chance to promote a 'reunion tour'.