Written by Wire Piddle
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Topics: Movies

Sunday, 5 July 2009

image for Snag Films Snags Crystal Defanti Sex Video
Jessica Simpson, "...Whatever"

Los Angeles, CA - Snagfilms, an award winning internet site devoted to showing top quality documentaries and feature films online, has secured the right to distribute the Crystal Defanti Sex Video.

Snagfilms representative, Nigel Witherbottom, states, "We are the premiere resource for teachers when it comes to educational documentaries for classroom use. It seems only natural that we would throw our arms around the work of Crystal Defanti. She is a teacher, no less."

Film Critic, Radley Bunion, agrees. "For a film company to catch a star on her meteoric rise to the stratosphere of celebritydom is truly inspirational. The fact that she is blonde and has huge....ambition... makes it all the more exciting. Nigel and I may even invite her around for tea.

Internationally known singing sensation and frontally endowed Jessica Simpson had this to say, "It's always good to see a fresh face in this industry. Bring it on Crystal Defanti. I'm assuming you only put me in this article as an excuse to get a picture of my breast. Am I right? Ha...ha...ha. Whatever. Didn't you find those two guys, Nigel and Radley a little....'off'?"

Curiously, in tandem with the distribution of the Crystal Defanti video, the United States Coalition of Teachers Associations will be holding they're annual convention in Las Vegas. Seminars include 'Making Home Movies Work For You' along with extensive 'hands-on' courses in Final Cut Pro editing. Several of Hollywood's best technicians will be offering their services for free.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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